(no subject)

[kitsunegari]

i've been getting caught up in this whole facebook thing the past few days. it's a complicated and much more excellent than myspace sort of thing. it's security is far superior that's for sure! i think i'll be tweaking it for a short while at least. i wonder if i can use facebook to pimp my tunes...? hmmm....

the biggest problem i'm facing just now, not related to facebook, is that i have a lovely crisp script called "A Winter's Tale" sitting on the dining room table off to my left, and i can't find the motivation to read past the opening two or three statements about visiting bohemia or sicily! this is a problem, because i've got the task of playing Perdita when the company performs it on August 1st and 2nd. i really need to focus, but i can't. i'm worried that if i do a horrible substandard performance on this one, that'll i'll lose out on further, grander opportunities and be relegated to the amateur stages for the rest of my life. not that they're a bad place, they just don't PAY.

once upon a time, i had all the motivation a person could have in relation to my chosen path. i lived and breathed it, thought nothing else but it, and did everything in my power to get myself more involved. this was a difficult task, because, despite what most people see of me (the surface Kits), i'm a  rather shy and modest person who really needs to slap herself hard in order to get done what she needs to do. i love the buzz i get from performing to an audience, but it takes so much effort to simply force myself to make the first step in getting there, that it exhausts me. however, once i make that leap, it's all smooth sailing. i just don't know why i'm having to work so hard in order to get this to work. maybe i'm not used to the lack of direction and rehearsal. perhaps i need to call bryan and organise private workshopping of the script. perhaps i need to find out why i've begun reverting to the shy little girl i was 15years ago.

i think this stupid day job i have is the main cause. it takes up so much of my time and energy, i simply don't have enough left to do what i know i have to do in order to progress further in acting. it leaves me feeling mostly worthless. it's tedious and boring, and the store is ALWAYS cold. what have i done to anger the gods to be given the horrible task of checking for use by and best before dates? whatever it was, i apologise and am repentant, please make it stop and give me a task worthy of my skills! i'd much rather be doing checkouts than this job. but i'm not trained and therefore am not permitted to attend priority one calls. blech.

so, what can i do in order to motivate myself back towards entertainment as my sole focus? what can i do in an attempt get back on track? do i need a good kick up the arse for being so flakey and girly about it? suggestions please, I REALLY need them.

til next....
~Kits~ (close to full caffienation)

Comments

[jagwire.livejournal.com]

once upon a time, i had all the motivation a person could have in relation to my chosen path. i lived and breathed it, thought nothing else but it, and did everything in my power to get myself more involved. this was a difficult task, because, despite what most people see of me (the surface Kits), i'm a rather shy and modest person who really needs to slap herself hard in order to get done what she needs to do.

I can relate to this - not so much about performing, but yeah. I find that when I come across something new and exciting it really amps up the motivation factor, but when I look at my practise as a chore, or something that *has* to be done, I get all "meh".

Day (or night, *sigh*) jobs don't help much either.

[kitsunegari.livejournal.com]

but when I look at my practise as a chore, or something that *has* to be done, I get all "meh".

you know, i don't think i could have said that any better, and having read that i thought about it and, came to the conclusion that THIS is the possible cause of my problem. and you know what? once i decided to see it as less of a chore and more as relaxation, i've found myself sitting down and reading the script and enjoying myself.

thanks =D

til next....
~Kits~ (sitting in the sun enjoying some Bard)

[jagwire.livejournal.com]

Result!

Good to hear :D

[greenglowgrrl.livejournal.com]

Singers and sportspeople maintain a relationship with a coach throughout their career. Actors much less so. While there are a dedicated few that can keep up their vocal and physical training in isolatation, between shows, it doesn't appear to be the norm.

Firstly, I'd fire any coach that offered me a kick up the arse for "being flakey and girly". If the voice in your head hasn't set a specific, measurable, acheivable, realistic task, then it has no right to criticise and its just wasting your time and energy further. If you miss a self-imposed rehearsal, fine, kick yourself. But make sure the Inner Critic isn't being flakey and unfocused, too.

Secondly, is making your performance life your "sole focus" like it used to be a practical goal? You do have other things in your life now. It's possibly more useful to aim for more skill in "shifting focus" from your other roles as mother, worker, friend etc.

What energises those roles? A sudden call to action? The hours set aside for it? How do you effectively de-role to move on to the next?

So if the goal is to give quality time to your craft, how do you set the scene? Is your loungeroom or bedroom doubling as your work space? If you look at the space you use as where you are about to have a date with the Love of your Life (which the theatre is) how would you make it more comfortable/private/alluring?
Framing old programs? A collage of actors you admire in roles you want to play someday? Or do you need to empty a space?

You don't need to get your workspace and time perfect, like a student falling into the trap of drawing up the perfect study timetable rather than actually studying, just more workable.

The script: you are already playing mind-games with yourself about it, so find one that works to your advantage. For example, put yourself on Shakespeare restrictions. Use your four minute timer. You are only allowed a four minute read every hour while reservoirs of creative juices are at low levels. Stick to it until the dam bursts.

You have a gift; and lots of people want you to succeed.

[greenglowgrrl.livejournal.com]

Since I started writing a comment, I see you've already reframed the task. Go you!

[magneticwords.livejournal.com]

How do I find you on Facebook? I am on there too.

[james72.livejournal.com]

I get this with my music. The only way I find to make it happen is to stop whining and procrastinating and do it.

luck!

[kcdl.livejournal.com]

I just got on facebook this week too. Just search for my name and you'll find me.