the hunter, not the hunted

how do you say it?

so many times the moment has arrived and been let slip past for no other reason than cowardice.

strength could be the issue.

sobriety another.

personal belief.

isuck.

and no i will not answer questions so don't bother asking (you know who you are).

you know, there are so many varied occasions when i wish i knew better how to express what i'm thinking to those close to me, or those i perceive as close.

this is one of many.

the opportunity arises and i falter.

this is normal?

for most?

a planned occasion was shot down in flames earlier.

nothing unusual there.

why is everything a struggle right now?

just fucking KISS ME GODDAMMIT!

make a fucking move!

stop messing with my fucking head.

i SHOULDN'T have these thoughts, but you were there before this.

and i've not moved on.

i should, it'll never be more than a fling.

fcuk!

just say it!

it'll eat you from the inside out if you don't

personal philosophy aside; just ASK!

stupid crossroads.

is it wrong to want someone to actually practice the words they spell out in something close to a promise?

i don't think i was built for this sort of existence.

where's the freedom?

til next....
~Kits~ (a partial thought leak)

need help with a costume...

how the hell do i dress myself as my coffee obsession?

i chose coffee as my obsession because i think that *squidge* might freak if i came as them :)

so.

coffee.

obsession.

how to costumify it...?

costumify, is that even a word?

til next....
~Kits~ (another one for the dictiopedia perhaps?)

well, open mic didn't happen last night because the owner had a last minute emergency and couldn't open the pub. thusly, i was without hosting-ness. apologies to anyone who went along to find the pub closed and dark.

lots of pouting went on and general feeling of upset-ed-ness, but it was all fine and good after getting to gilhooleys to see the secret santa patrol supping on guinness and good times. i got a llama! and it was briefly the mascot of the gilhooleys bar while i was in attendance. his name (the llama) is Jerry.

a loverly chat with the scottish bar tender about glasgow and the like and giggles with the south african bar tender (both of whom did not bat an eyelid when i asked for lime juice to be added to my pint of guinnes. which EVERYONE must try (excluding those who have already), it's yummy!) added bonus fun to the evening.

many a head appeared to turn in my direction as i wandered past people last night as well. it may have had something to do with the skin tight pvc denim pants i was wearing which showed off my rather 'athletic' (read: pouty post-preggers) butt! in fact, when i caught the bus into the city, the bus driver gave me the up-and-down and proceeded to give me a discounted ticket! i ain't gonna make any complaints about that!

ah, well, i suppose it means i don't need to feel bad about the way i look (not that i've ever had a particular problem with it).

sometimes it feels good to be noticed.

til next....
~Kits~ (*squidge*)