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kitsunegari Mar. 10th, 2006 09:32 pm)
kitsunegari Mar. 10th, 2006 09:32 pm)meh
something's decided that its not right. i dont know what, but something. though, while i listen to Dan's cd i think that that may have something to do with it. i think i'm undecided about myself. there's a direction i know i want to go in, but i'm not sure how to get there. there's resentment, but towards whom i'm not sure. or maybe i do and don't want to admit it.
i can't even get a straight fucking thought out.
i'm just going to ramble now:
so, i've decided for CERTAIN that i want to get a job. this is great, because when i first thought about it i had SEVERE reservations: was i ready to go back to the RIGMOROLE of job search; did i really want a job? i began the whole thing with TREPIDATION. rehashing my RESUME to make it look like i'm interesting enough, and then drafting a COVER LETTER. i'd never bothered with it before because i'd always considered them SUPERFLUOUS to the whole thing. i've been told by TOO many employers to count that they never read the smegging things! it's simply a waste of time and paper! but i wrote one anyway. i then redrafted it to be a more GENERAL letter that would only need a minor adjustment to suit whatever i was applying for. then off i went. i looked at the CARREER ONE website and found it virtually useless, so donnered back to SEEK. it's never been helpful in the past, but at least it's user-friendly and i know more about it. anyway, for the first time EVER the site worked for me and i got phone calls for interviews. it's just a pity that thus far no-one has wanted me: despite liking me and discovering i'm competent for the job. the ones that shit me are the rejection letters that come WITHOUT a phone call. so, right from the beginning it's back to what it was BEFORE i got pregnant. no-one wants to employ me because i suck, or smell, or they don't like the way i pronounce certain words, or i smile too much, or i'm too eager. where the fuck is the pleasing these people!? don't get me started on the whole "INTERVEW PROCESS FOR A JOB BEING A CRAP WAY OF GETTING TO UNDERSTAND AN INTERVIEWEES ABILITIES". i'm really sick of it. i'm 26 years of age and my employment record is really fucking shit. no one wants to employ me for longer than eight months, and i've never known what a stable job is. my last job fucked me off because i got pregnant and was dumb enough to let my boss know (but i can't prove it). i've put effort in. i went and got a certificate hospitality with RSA so i could get bar or cafe work, only to find out last week that it means nothing. so why THE FUCK do we bother to spend the money to LEARN ANYTHING about an industry we want to work in if the only way to work in the industry is to have industry ex-fucking-perience! i've done everything CUNTERLINK has asked me to do: jobsearch workshops, resume writing workshops, work for the dole. ESPECIALLY work for the dole. i NAIVELY volunteered for it the first time and was happy to accept it the second time for want of nothing else to do, thinking that i would earn something to add to my CV to help me get a job in a new industry. if hospitality wasn't the way to go, maybe retail was, and this time i was getting INDUSTRY experience. well fuck me dead if i wasn't completely and utterly wrong! i now have almost 12 months of retail experience and can't even get a job in that industry either! all i can say i got out of it is how to use a register, and how to interact with customers! nothing else is pertinent. oh, and i'm now considered 'too old' for most jobs as well. so, one half of the job force is telling me i'm not experienced enough, the other half is daying i'm too old. how the fuck am i supposed to win? job adverts are asking for 'experiencd juniors', with 2-3 years under their belts. the only reason they're getting employed at 15 is because it's CHEAP. i'm not getting the job because they have to pay me 'real' MONEY. why bother? we're currently living comfortably off what the government is giving us and what PATRICK is earning from tutoring.
away from the jobs now... my fucking parents. Dad in particular. now, you've read that i have a child. now, would you not expect the grandparents of said child (being their first and ONLY grandchild) would be absolutely over the moon and want to see him constantly to spoil him and do the whole grandparent deal? WRONG! it would appear that my father has forgotten his existence. or at least he's got issues with wanting to look after him on OCCASION when either PATRICK or myself are busy. actually, i don't really want to get into this at all right now.
i think i've run out of steam for now. i'm sure i'll be back at a later date to vent some anguish upon the masses...
til next....
~Kits~
something's decided that its not right. i dont know what, but something. though, while i listen to Dan's cd i think that that may have something to do with it. i think i'm undecided about myself. there's a direction i know i want to go in, but i'm not sure how to get there. there's resentment, but towards whom i'm not sure. or maybe i do and don't want to admit it.
i can't even get a straight fucking thought out.
i'm just going to ramble now:
so, i've decided for CERTAIN that i want to get a job. this is great, because when i first thought about it i had SEVERE reservations: was i ready to go back to the RIGMOROLE of job search; did i really want a job? i began the whole thing with TREPIDATION. rehashing my RESUME to make it look like i'm interesting enough, and then drafting a COVER LETTER. i'd never bothered with it before because i'd always considered them SUPERFLUOUS to the whole thing. i've been told by TOO many employers to count that they never read the smegging things! it's simply a waste of time and paper! but i wrote one anyway. i then redrafted it to be a more GENERAL letter that would only need a minor adjustment to suit whatever i was applying for. then off i went. i looked at the CARREER ONE website and found it virtually useless, so donnered back to SEEK. it's never been helpful in the past, but at least it's user-friendly and i know more about it. anyway, for the first time EVER the site worked for me and i got phone calls for interviews. it's just a pity that thus far no-one has wanted me: despite liking me and discovering i'm competent for the job. the ones that shit me are the rejection letters that come WITHOUT a phone call. so, right from the beginning it's back to what it was BEFORE i got pregnant. no-one wants to employ me because i suck, or smell, or they don't like the way i pronounce certain words, or i smile too much, or i'm too eager. where the fuck is the pleasing these people!? don't get me started on the whole "INTERVEW PROCESS FOR A JOB BEING A CRAP WAY OF GETTING TO UNDERSTAND AN INTERVIEWEES ABILITIES". i'm really sick of it. i'm 26 years of age and my employment record is really fucking shit. no one wants to employ me for longer than eight months, and i've never known what a stable job is. my last job fucked me off because i got pregnant and was dumb enough to let my boss know (but i can't prove it). i've put effort in. i went and got a certificate hospitality with RSA so i could get bar or cafe work, only to find out last week that it means nothing. so why THE FUCK do we bother to spend the money to LEARN ANYTHING about an industry we want to work in if the only way to work in the industry is to have industry ex-fucking-perience! i've done everything CUNTERLINK has asked me to do: jobsearch workshops, resume writing workshops, work for the dole. ESPECIALLY work for the dole. i NAIVELY volunteered for it the first time and was happy to accept it the second time for want of nothing else to do, thinking that i would earn something to add to my CV to help me get a job in a new industry. if hospitality wasn't the way to go, maybe retail was, and this time i was getting INDUSTRY experience. well fuck me dead if i wasn't completely and utterly wrong! i now have almost 12 months of retail experience and can't even get a job in that industry either! all i can say i got out of it is how to use a register, and how to interact with customers! nothing else is pertinent. oh, and i'm now considered 'too old' for most jobs as well. so, one half of the job force is telling me i'm not experienced enough, the other half is daying i'm too old. how the fuck am i supposed to win? job adverts are asking for 'experiencd juniors', with 2-3 years under their belts. the only reason they're getting employed at 15 is because it's CHEAP. i'm not getting the job because they have to pay me 'real' MONEY. why bother? we're currently living comfortably off what the government is giving us and what PATRICK is earning from tutoring.
away from the jobs now... my fucking parents. Dad in particular. now, you've read that i have a child. now, would you not expect the grandparents of said child (being their first and ONLY grandchild) would be absolutely over the moon and want to see him constantly to spoil him and do the whole grandparent deal? WRONG! it would appear that my father has forgotten his existence. or at least he's got issues with wanting to look after him on OCCASION when either PATRICK or myself are busy. actually, i don't really want to get into this at all right now.
i think i've run out of steam for now. i'm sure i'll be back at a later date to vent some anguish upon the masses...
til next....
~Kits~
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