nope. not random animal shenanigans tonight.

i've been doing a lot of reading lately, but not the 'usual' kind of reading. in fact, i can't even remember the last time i leafed through an actual real live book, which surprises me considerably. actually, it shocks me. considering the type of person i am (and albeit a little tainted by the university readings for weekly tutes experience of my early arts/humanites degree (which i never completed due to insanity from the forced digestion of academic texts)), to not have picked up an actual real live book at all this year - and i'm not exaggerating here - sends my mind into a bit of a spin. it's a good job i didn't eat recently. never-the-less, i have been reading: care of the internets, intartubens(tm-pending), interwebs, webbernets, etcetera, etcetera. and it's been making me think - not too much though, we know what that usually does. i really don't utilise this thing as much as i feel i should/need to.

in 2001 when i initially bugged my friend c4c for a code (back when you had to be invited or pay for an LJ), i just wanted to be part of the "cool group". i was still pretty much a novice at the internet. i couldn't afford to have it connected at home because i was a poor as all beggar-like student - with a cat - who had been forced to move back to her parents house (and let's not get into that, or i might stab things) and was only able to access it from uni, or my best friends' house. that's a fair enough call for a juvy? joovy? juvie? of this 'new fangled communications device'. i'd already killed brain cells attempting the chat world and managed to avoid most of the super creepy freak-o's who just wanted to wank all over their keyboards while you typed general pleasantries (at least i hope i did). however, LJ was the "in thing" and i wanted to be a part of it because, quite simply, all my friends were. i wanted to keep up to date with all my "peoples whom i met on the net and then met in real life". i wanted to 'spy' on their daily happenings. i wanted to tell the world how shitty yesterday was, or how fabulous tomorrow was going to be. i would even be so "bold" as to blog about how boring today was. actually, i still have a tendency to do that, but with less of the "OMG THIS IS SO FABULOUS AND NEW AND WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE" that i had in the beginning. it was almost a step up from my real journal. the one involving a notebook and a pen. i'll admit to not being so strict with it in recent years, but LJ has never been considered a substitute. i just spend more time at the computer/laptop, and it's a 'convenience'. if there's a thought i'm having, i'll let LJ have it. but not because i care what y'all think, or if you're even interested in knowing.

that's the weird thing about online blogs: audience. they have an audience. people are able to intrude on your life and "know" you through your blog. friendships are made, relationships formed. random people you don't even know will offer advice, proselytise at you or simply abuse you out of pure randomness. celebrity status can be gained, and all you did was document what you've done over the past few days/weeks/months/years on a daily/weekly/monthly/random basis.

...

i don't actually really know where i'm going with this. perhaps i'm attempting to be interesting to those of you who read and don't care all that much about my wangst. perhaps i'm just saying it because i can. the internet is 'technically' free. i'm 'almost' permitted to say whatever i want without some nutbag getting all up-in-my-face about it. i'm just thankful i don't have one of those "internet stalkers". those people can be creepy. but i guess those folks are news for a different night.

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows -
And did it my way!

til next....
~Kits~ (at least one person will find the humour in that)